Euro English

A reader of my e-newsletter, sent me this joke (old, but still funny) about a five-year plan to phase in EuroEnglish.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. Also, the hard 'c' will be dropped in favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter. The 'C' kan have two lines drawn through it and be used for the new EURO kurrensy symbol.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e's in the languag is disgrasful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

Labels: business writing, Euro English

posted by Unknown @ 10:17 PM